We've been dealing with food allergies for a few months now, and it hasn't been the easiest road. We've had reactions to things we thought were safe, we're learning that cross contact can be the cause of reactions, and we even learned our dog's food can be a risk to Matthew.
At first, I was devastated, because food allergies can be extremely dangerous, and that is scary. I would do anything for my child, and if I could change places with him I would, but I can't. At first, we were just dealing with a life threatening allergy to dairy and a possible nut allergy. Then, about a month ago, we discovered Matt also has a life threatening allergy to eggs. This added another layer, and my paranoia and anxiety sky rocketed. How can I leave my allergic child with anyone but me? What if he has a reaction, and I am not with him? What if he accidentally picks up a food that he is allergic to and eats it? I must go completely dairy and egg free in my house, and I can't let anyone feed him anything other than what I send for him. I have to figure out a way to live on one income so that I can stay home with him, and I have to stay home every night. To say I was a little irrational is an understatement. Let's face it, I have to continue working, going out is good for my mental state, and even under my careful watch, he is still going to have, and has had, reactions.
Then, I found the FAAN network (Food Allergy and Anaphylaxis Network) online and I started to understand some things. First, my initial fears and anxiety are normal. These allergies are changing our lives, but it's doable. After all, one in 13 kids grow up with food allergies. Next, I think I am finally understanding that reactions are going to happen. Rather than spend the day crying because my child is swollen and covered in hives, I have to focus on how I am reacting to it. Am I noticing any signs of anaphylaxis? Is the Benadryl working? How is he acting? These are key things to focus on, because it can mean a happier life for my child. I am praying hard that he outgrows these allergies, and I have faith that he will - at least the dairy allergy, since 80 percent of kids do outgrow it - but in the meantime I can't stop living. Our life is just different now. I still have fear and anxiety, but it's easing up every day. Grocery shopping has been a big challenge, but yesterday wasn't scary because of all of the labels I was reading, it was scary because of the thousands of people trying to get down the different aisles. sidenote: my goodness people can be rude this time of year. I got my toes ran over by carts, I got rammed in the side by another person's cart and no one even said I'm sorry. And if I heard one more F bomb I was going to scream! Merry Christmas to you all, too. Ok, I'm off my soap box.
While in the war zone called Wegmans, I found some great food Matt can eat, including egg and dairy free waffles, fish sticks and a different brand of his favorite veggie chips, which I had to stop buying because the old brand changed manufacturing sites and started manufacturing the chips at the same facility as other dairy products. Now, he can enjoy them again. I can also call the manufacturers to find out if some of the questionable ingredients have milk protein, and I am finding alot of them are happy to help.
It's still scary sometimes, but we are plugging along, and for that I'm thankful! Merry Christmas to you all and a Happy New Year!!!
Monday, December 22, 2014
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
First Thanksgiving with Food Allergies
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and while it is often one of my favorite holidays, it's also become a scary one for me. It's Matt's first major holiday he's celebrating since his dairy allergy and nut allergy suspicion diagnoses. It wasn't until recently that I learned just how many meals are made delicious because of dairy and nut ingredients, and the Thanksgiving meal is certainly no exception. There's butter in the turkey, the gravy, the bread, the potatoes, the desserts, the list goes on and on.
The regular list of no nos is pretty extensive too, beyond the obvious milk, butter and whey, but to top it off, we have to be conscious of foods that would otherwise be safe for him to eat if only they weren't processed in the same factory as other dairy and nut products. I learned the hard way that those traces of milk, cheese, peanuts etc can still cause a reaction in Matthew.
During last week's snowpocolypse event where we were housebound for four days I learned that Gerber graduate foods that do not have any of the items listed on the foods to stay away from must also be processed in a factory that makes foods with dairy and nut ingredients, because he broke out in hives. Luckily, it wasn't a severe reaction, but it was scary nonetheless, especially because we couldn't get out of the driveway and onto the roads if we needed to get him to a hospital.
So tomorrow, even though I will only feed Matthew the foods I 100 percent know are safe for him to eat, I will still be watching him like a hawk to ensure he doesn't accidentally ingest anything that could cause him serious harm.
To all my friends and family, happy Thanksgiving! And please, stay with your family and friends on Thanksgiving Day. Don't go shopping for Black Friday sales on Grey Thursday or whatever the heck they are calling it. Thanksgiving is a time to be thankful for what you have; it's not for promoting the bad business practices of shopping centers who are out to make a buck at the expense of their employees' happiness and ability to spend this national holiday with their family and friends.
The regular list of no nos is pretty extensive too, beyond the obvious milk, butter and whey, but to top it off, we have to be conscious of foods that would otherwise be safe for him to eat if only they weren't processed in the same factory as other dairy and nut products. I learned the hard way that those traces of milk, cheese, peanuts etc can still cause a reaction in Matthew.
During last week's snowpocolypse event where we were housebound for four days I learned that Gerber graduate foods that do not have any of the items listed on the foods to stay away from must also be processed in a factory that makes foods with dairy and nut ingredients, because he broke out in hives. Luckily, it wasn't a severe reaction, but it was scary nonetheless, especially because we couldn't get out of the driveway and onto the roads if we needed to get him to a hospital.
So tomorrow, even though I will only feed Matthew the foods I 100 percent know are safe for him to eat, I will still be watching him like a hawk to ensure he doesn't accidentally ingest anything that could cause him serious harm.
To all my friends and family, happy Thanksgiving! And please, stay with your family and friends on Thanksgiving Day. Don't go shopping for Black Friday sales on Grey Thursday or whatever the heck they are calling it. Thanksgiving is a time to be thankful for what you have; it's not for promoting the bad business practices of shopping centers who are out to make a buck at the expense of their employees' happiness and ability to spend this national holiday with their family and friends.
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Allergies ugh!
So over the last few weeks, Matthew has started eating new foods - whole milk... allergic, almond milk... possibly allergic... peanut butter ... definitely allergic. It's been a trying and scary few weeks of hives, eye and nose swelling, Benadryl and doctor's visits. Next week, we'll be adding a new doctor to the list of appointments, pediatric allergist.
When Matthew was 5 months old he had a reaction to me eating peanut m&ms but a blood test showed he did not have an allergy to peanuts, so we figured that he wasn't allergic. My new pediatrician suggested trying peanut butter to add protein to his diet. So Saturday morning, I made Matt a multigrain waffle with peanut butter on it. As soon as he took his last bite a large hive appeared on his left eye, his nose on the same side swelled slightly, and more hives appeared around his cheeks and leg. Not wanting to over react, I gave Matt a little Benadryl and took him upstairs to sit in an oatmeal bath and watch. Watch to see if he had any trouble breathing, swallowing and if more hives would appear. Luckily none of that happened, but when the eye swelling didn't go down I figured it was time to call the emergency line at his pediatrician's office. We had an appointment in 20 minutes and to get him there to be seen. Matthew now comes equipped with an Epipen Jr., but I pray to God we never have to use it.
Next week, Matthew and I will be at his two-to-three-hour long allergist appointment where they will test him for those allergies, the severity of them and if he is allergic to anything else. I wonder what causes a child to get allergies though?As far as I know, we don't have food allergies on either side of our families - with the exception of my allergy to pastry filling. I just don't get it. He is healthy in every other aspect, but he suffers from horrible eczema and now it's suspected that he has these food allergies. Hopefully we will get the answers we need to ensure that Matthew stays as healthy as can be. If that means avoiding foods with peanuts and milk, so be it. Let me tell you though, it's not easy to find foods that haven't been processed in a factory with peanuts. And milk? My goodness it seems like it's in everything. I'm hoping he grows out of the milk allergy and I'm further hoping it's just a milk sensitivity and not a full-blown allergy. Keep us in your prayers for a good report next week. I'll keep you all posted.
When Matthew was 5 months old he had a reaction to me eating peanut m&ms but a blood test showed he did not have an allergy to peanuts, so we figured that he wasn't allergic. My new pediatrician suggested trying peanut butter to add protein to his diet. So Saturday morning, I made Matt a multigrain waffle with peanut butter on it. As soon as he took his last bite a large hive appeared on his left eye, his nose on the same side swelled slightly, and more hives appeared around his cheeks and leg. Not wanting to over react, I gave Matt a little Benadryl and took him upstairs to sit in an oatmeal bath and watch. Watch to see if he had any trouble breathing, swallowing and if more hives would appear. Luckily none of that happened, but when the eye swelling didn't go down I figured it was time to call the emergency line at his pediatrician's office. We had an appointment in 20 minutes and to get him there to be seen. Matthew now comes equipped with an Epipen Jr., but I pray to God we never have to use it.
Next week, Matthew and I will be at his two-to-three-hour long allergist appointment where they will test him for those allergies, the severity of them and if he is allergic to anything else. I wonder what causes a child to get allergies though?As far as I know, we don't have food allergies on either side of our families - with the exception of my allergy to pastry filling. I just don't get it. He is healthy in every other aspect, but he suffers from horrible eczema and now it's suspected that he has these food allergies. Hopefully we will get the answers we need to ensure that Matthew stays as healthy as can be. If that means avoiding foods with peanuts and milk, so be it. Let me tell you though, it's not easy to find foods that haven't been processed in a factory with peanuts. And milk? My goodness it seems like it's in everything. I'm hoping he grows out of the milk allergy and I'm further hoping it's just a milk sensitivity and not a full-blown allergy. Keep us in your prayers for a good report next week. I'll keep you all posted.
Thursday, October 2, 2014
Well that was eventful!
Ever just feel overwhelmed? That's where I am at right now. The house is a mess, the kid started hitting and the dog, well, she's a pain in the you know what!
Let me begin... every evening I try to make sure the dishes are at least done and the kitchen is mostly cleaned up, because I can't stand gross left over food dried up on the counter. But now, because Matt is into everything I also try to make sure the toys are mostly picked up, or at least thrown into one corner, before I head out the door for the day, but by the time I come home from work it's as if a tornado has made a run through the house.
It's typical every day mom stuff I know, but I feel like I can never catch up on all the stuff that needs to get done. There's endless loads of laundry, piles of dishes to be washed and put away, toys every where and a window of just a few short hours to complete the daily tasks that are must dos every single day. If I let it go, which if I'm being honest happens far too often, it becomes a monstrous task that gives me heart palpitations thinking about the growing list of to dos that need to get done over my short two day weekend.
My day goes as follows, I get up in the morning and shower as quickly as possible so that I can be ready before the baby gets up - sometimes that happens, sometimes not so much. Then I am running around trying to get the baby ready for the day, take care of the dog, the fish and try to get myself ready for work. Then, I drop the baby off at the sitter's house, drive to Tonawanda, work til 5, then get in my car and drive 45 minutes home. Then from the minute I walk in the door, the dog is barking and jumping at me for attention, the baby is following me around the house with his arms up for me to pick him up and the sink is already filled with dishes, the fish bowl needs to be cleaned, the dog is scratching to go outside and the toys are scattered across the floor. Then it's bath time, a little cuddle time on the couch, and then bed time by 8:30 p.m. By 9, it's dishes time, sit on the couch for a little tv and relaxation and then bed time. Some nights the baby sleeps through the night and other nights he's up for hours, and I try everything I can to get him back to sleep before my alarm goes off for the day.
This morning was pretty typical, I got up and showered and ate breakfast all before Matthew got up. It was nice to sit and watch last night's Tonight Show with my husband before the chaos began. I should have known it was too good to be true.
After Eric went to work, all hell broke loose.
As I was upstairs changing Matthew I heard the dog rustling with something in the kitchen. In a span of a few short minutes, a tin of cupcakes from Matthew's birthday party had been entirely consumed along with a few of the plastic Jake and the Neverland Pirates cupcake toppers that I had used to decorate for the party. I wasn't even down the stairs yet and Marley's tail went between her legs and she headed straight for the back door because she knew she ate something - again - that she wasn't supposed to. Now, if it had just been the cupcakes, I wouldn't have worried because she'd eventually puke them up, probably in the middle of the night, but these cake toppers were big and I know Marley would have trouble passing them if she had to, so I called the vet. Induce vomiting, they said, and call them back. GREAT.
I have the baby on my hip, a bottle of hydrogen peroxide in my other hand and I am now chasing Marley throughout the house because she knows what will happen when I pour it down her throat. I finally coax her into her crate where she is thrashing around and Matthew is trying to scoot around me to get into the crate with me and Marley, because that's where the party is, right? I get Matt out of the crate who immediately has a melt down and is throwing himself onto the ground in fits of rage, I corner the dog and get some peroxide into her mouth and get her outside and wait... and wait... and wait... nothing. She's apparently getting used to peroxide-induced vomiting, so I am now chasing her outside with the medicine syringe filled with more peroxide yelling at her to get over here, cursing and telling her that if she doesn't come to me right now I am sending her to the pound and getting rid of her. The roofers two doors down got quite the comedy show this morning. After about 50 minutes, the dog finally threw up the contents of the cupcakes and I was able to take Matt to my dad's and get to work. I then received a text from the hubs asking if I took anything out for dinner? SMACK MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL.
Side note: I have to give credit where credit is due. Eric does the cooking, so at least I don't have that added to the to do list.
Let me begin... every evening I try to make sure the dishes are at least done and the kitchen is mostly cleaned up, because I can't stand gross left over food dried up on the counter. But now, because Matt is into everything I also try to make sure the toys are mostly picked up, or at least thrown into one corner, before I head out the door for the day, but by the time I come home from work it's as if a tornado has made a run through the house.
It's typical every day mom stuff I know, but I feel like I can never catch up on all the stuff that needs to get done. There's endless loads of laundry, piles of dishes to be washed and put away, toys every where and a window of just a few short hours to complete the daily tasks that are must dos every single day. If I let it go, which if I'm being honest happens far too often, it becomes a monstrous task that gives me heart palpitations thinking about the growing list of to dos that need to get done over my short two day weekend.
My day goes as follows, I get up in the morning and shower as quickly as possible so that I can be ready before the baby gets up - sometimes that happens, sometimes not so much. Then I am running around trying to get the baby ready for the day, take care of the dog, the fish and try to get myself ready for work. Then, I drop the baby off at the sitter's house, drive to Tonawanda, work til 5, then get in my car and drive 45 minutes home. Then from the minute I walk in the door, the dog is barking and jumping at me for attention, the baby is following me around the house with his arms up for me to pick him up and the sink is already filled with dishes, the fish bowl needs to be cleaned, the dog is scratching to go outside and the toys are scattered across the floor. Then it's bath time, a little cuddle time on the couch, and then bed time by 8:30 p.m. By 9, it's dishes time, sit on the couch for a little tv and relaxation and then bed time. Some nights the baby sleeps through the night and other nights he's up for hours, and I try everything I can to get him back to sleep before my alarm goes off for the day.
This morning was pretty typical, I got up and showered and ate breakfast all before Matthew got up. It was nice to sit and watch last night's Tonight Show with my husband before the chaos began. I should have known it was too good to be true.
After Eric went to work, all hell broke loose.
As I was upstairs changing Matthew I heard the dog rustling with something in the kitchen. In a span of a few short minutes, a tin of cupcakes from Matthew's birthday party had been entirely consumed along with a few of the plastic Jake and the Neverland Pirates cupcake toppers that I had used to decorate for the party. I wasn't even down the stairs yet and Marley's tail went between her legs and she headed straight for the back door because she knew she ate something - again - that she wasn't supposed to. Now, if it had just been the cupcakes, I wouldn't have worried because she'd eventually puke them up, probably in the middle of the night, but these cake toppers were big and I know Marley would have trouble passing them if she had to, so I called the vet. Induce vomiting, they said, and call them back. GREAT.
I have the baby on my hip, a bottle of hydrogen peroxide in my other hand and I am now chasing Marley throughout the house because she knows what will happen when I pour it down her throat. I finally coax her into her crate where she is thrashing around and Matthew is trying to scoot around me to get into the crate with me and Marley, because that's where the party is, right? I get Matt out of the crate who immediately has a melt down and is throwing himself onto the ground in fits of rage, I corner the dog and get some peroxide into her mouth and get her outside and wait... and wait... and wait... nothing. She's apparently getting used to peroxide-induced vomiting, so I am now chasing her outside with the medicine syringe filled with more peroxide yelling at her to get over here, cursing and telling her that if she doesn't come to me right now I am sending her to the pound and getting rid of her. The roofers two doors down got quite the comedy show this morning. After about 50 minutes, the dog finally threw up the contents of the cupcakes and I was able to take Matt to my dad's and get to work. I then received a text from the hubs asking if I took anything out for dinner? SMACK MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL.
Side note: I have to give credit where credit is due. Eric does the cooking, so at least I don't have that added to the to do list.
Monday, September 29, 2014
Guess who's one!
Matthew turned one year old last Wednesday and it has been one heck of a celebration week! I took Wednesday off from work, mostly because I wanted to spend the day with my little man, but a small part of me also took off because I knew it would be an emotional day for me. I am thrilled to watch Matty grow, but a very small part of me is sad that my baby is no longer a baby. He will have no more first holidays, no more first steps, no more first laughs, and so on. He's officially a toddler who loves to run, laugh, babble, eat and play with his best bud Marley.
So Wednesday morning, Matthew and I got up, ate some breakfast and went to get his first birthday pictures taken at Buy Buy Baby. He started off the photo shoot very serious and refused to crack a smile, but as he warmed up, his smile got wider and he started playing with some of the props. The photos turned out great! While we waited for the prints, we shopped around the store and Matthew picked out some blocks and a farm game that sings and makes animal sounds. He thought it was hilarious as I tried to mimic the snorts of the pig and the cluck of the chicken... the other moms in the store thought I may have lost it. I didn't care because we had a great time testing out the toys before we made our final selections.
Then, we did his other favorite activity and went grocery shopping for his birthday party! He was kind of over it though and let me know he was ready to go home at the check out by rubbing his eyes and whining. Even so, he refused to take a long nap, so we spend the rest of the afternoon snuggled up on the couch watching Disney Jr.
After his dad got home from work, we went to French Pub for Matt's birthday dinner, and then back home for cake and ice cream with his grandparents. Not that I had much doubt, but Matthew LOVED his birthday cake. He had such an exhausting day that he fell asleep right after his bath as I was putting on his pajamas. Although we didn't do anything super exciting, I think he had a fun day just hanging out with his mom and dad.
Saturday, we had a small family party where Matthew was the center of attention. It was a Jake and the Neverland Pirates theme, and the kids loved breaking a pinata of Jake and doing arts and crafts. It was a lot of work preparing for the party, and I definitely complained a lot about all that needed to get done, but it was worth all of the frustration and aggravation because he had a wonderful time with his aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins. Happy first birthday buddy! I love you.
So Wednesday morning, Matthew and I got up, ate some breakfast and went to get his first birthday pictures taken at Buy Buy Baby. He started off the photo shoot very serious and refused to crack a smile, but as he warmed up, his smile got wider and he started playing with some of the props. The photos turned out great! While we waited for the prints, we shopped around the store and Matthew picked out some blocks and a farm game that sings and makes animal sounds. He thought it was hilarious as I tried to mimic the snorts of the pig and the cluck of the chicken... the other moms in the store thought I may have lost it. I didn't care because we had a great time testing out the toys before we made our final selections.
Then, we did his other favorite activity and went grocery shopping for his birthday party! He was kind of over it though and let me know he was ready to go home at the check out by rubbing his eyes and whining. Even so, he refused to take a long nap, so we spend the rest of the afternoon snuggled up on the couch watching Disney Jr.
After his dad got home from work, we went to French Pub for Matt's birthday dinner, and then back home for cake and ice cream with his grandparents. Not that I had much doubt, but Matthew LOVED his birthday cake. He had such an exhausting day that he fell asleep right after his bath as I was putting on his pajamas. Although we didn't do anything super exciting, I think he had a fun day just hanging out with his mom and dad.
Saturday, we had a small family party where Matthew was the center of attention. It was a Jake and the Neverland Pirates theme, and the kids loved breaking a pinata of Jake and doing arts and crafts. It was a lot of work preparing for the party, and I definitely complained a lot about all that needed to get done, but it was worth all of the frustration and aggravation because he had a wonderful time with his aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins. Happy first birthday buddy! I love you.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Nostalgic
This morning I woke up feeling a little down thinking that my baby isn't really a baby any more.
He will turn one a week from tomorrow, and I cannot believe it. I feel like he just got here.
I remember so vividly the moment he was placed in my arms for the first time, and yet, this first year has been kind of a blur. I recall snippets of time that melted my heart, but I wish I could capture the memories over this past year - the best one of my life - in a bottle so that I will always remember exactly his newborn smell; his first smile; his first laugh; the first time he rolled over, crawled and walked; the first time he said mama and dada; the moment when he and Marley became best friends. The list goes on and on. I'll never have these firsts with him again, and a part of me is a little sad that I won't get those moments in time back.
Each day Matthew does something new to amaze me, and I am so proud of the little boy he is becoming. He's sweet and easy going. He makes me laugh daily, and his growing personality show little nuances of both Eric and myself. I look forward to seeing the man he becomes - just not so fast.
As much as I love watching him grow and explore new things, I miss the days where he would cuddle with me for hours on end. Now, he wants to run all over the place, chase Marley, climb the stairs, jump on dada, and blow raspberries on mama. He also loves to escape during diaper changes, give me love bites (I'm working on nipping that in the bud) and terrorizing Marley by ripping out clumps of her hair and sticking his fingers up her nose. That dog that was so crazy as a puppy really makes me proud of the dog she has become. She happily lets Matt terrorize her, and although she does get jealous that Matt has taken away some of her attention, she's so good with him. He goes WWE on her constantly, jumping on her and pinning her when she least expects it and she just wags her tail harder when he gives her Matthew hugs. The growing bond and friendship between them makes me smile.
He will turn one a week from tomorrow, and I cannot believe it. I feel like he just got here.
I remember so vividly the moment he was placed in my arms for the first time, and yet, this first year has been kind of a blur. I recall snippets of time that melted my heart, but I wish I could capture the memories over this past year - the best one of my life - in a bottle so that I will always remember exactly his newborn smell; his first smile; his first laugh; the first time he rolled over, crawled and walked; the first time he said mama and dada; the moment when he and Marley became best friends. The list goes on and on. I'll never have these firsts with him again, and a part of me is a little sad that I won't get those moments in time back.
Each day Matthew does something new to amaze me, and I am so proud of the little boy he is becoming. He's sweet and easy going. He makes me laugh daily, and his growing personality show little nuances of both Eric and myself. I look forward to seeing the man he becomes - just not so fast.
As much as I love watching him grow and explore new things, I miss the days where he would cuddle with me for hours on end. Now, he wants to run all over the place, chase Marley, climb the stairs, jump on dada, and blow raspberries on mama. He also loves to escape during diaper changes, give me love bites (I'm working on nipping that in the bud) and terrorizing Marley by ripping out clumps of her hair and sticking his fingers up her nose. That dog that was so crazy as a puppy really makes me proud of the dog she has become. She happily lets Matt terrorize her, and although she does get jealous that Matt has taken away some of her attention, she's so good with him. He goes WWE on her constantly, jumping on her and pinning her when she least expects it and she just wags her tail harder when he gives her Matthew hugs. The growing bond and friendship between them makes me smile.
Monday, September 8, 2014
This time last year...
This time last year I was miserable, fat and antsy to meet my little one.
This time last year, I was getting as much work done so that I could enjoy my maternity leave and not have to worry about what was going on at the office.
This time last year, I was having one last ultrasound of my baby to make sure everything was a-okay and he or she (didn't know the gender at this point) was healthy -estimated to be about 7.3 lbs at 38 weeks in utero - and about to make his debut. My how times have changed.
Yesterday, I took my almost one year old grocery shopping. It's one of his favorite activities. He loves to ride in the cart, wave to other customers and babble down every aisle we go. I have a normal conversation with him, talking about what we should buy and ask him what flavors he'd like. He responds in baby talk that I don't quite understand, but it's a great conversation nonetheless, because it's great mommy and Matty time. In fact, we had a lot of mommy and Matty time this weekend, and it was THE BEST!
On Friday, Matt and I went to an impromptu play date. I shopped for make up and Matty played with other toddlers at the party. He isn't really into playing with other kids yet, so he basically kept to himself and played with a wooden toy duck, but he enjoyed himself and when he got tired, he reached up and nuzzled my hair until it was time to go.
On Saturday, I took a mommy time out for a couple of hours to go shopping and meet baby Emerson - one of my best friend's new baby boy. He's gorgeous and such a tiny little peanut. I tried to remember Matthew being that small and, to be honest, it's a little fuzzy. I mean I remember him being a newborn, but at the same time I don't. It is the strangest thing, because this has been the quickest and longest year of my life. One study says that it's normal for moms to "forget" the newborn stage, because if we remembered it all we may not have more babies. But I didn't mind the newborn stage, so why don't I remember it very clearly? It's a conundrum.
Later Saturday night, Matt and I watched cartoons, played chase and laughed in hysterics at each other. I, of course, captured much of it with my iPhone... sorry for clogging up your Facebook and Istagram feeds, but I couldn't help myself. He is just too darn cute.
He is growing up so fast. I just wish time would stand still for just a little while, so that I can enjoy my baby a little longer before he turns one and is a pre-toddler.
This time last year, I was getting as much work done so that I could enjoy my maternity leave and not have to worry about what was going on at the office.
This time last year, I was having one last ultrasound of my baby to make sure everything was a-okay and he or she (didn't know the gender at this point) was healthy -estimated to be about 7.3 lbs at 38 weeks in utero - and about to make his debut. My how times have changed.
Yesterday, I took my almost one year old grocery shopping. It's one of his favorite activities. He loves to ride in the cart, wave to other customers and babble down every aisle we go. I have a normal conversation with him, talking about what we should buy and ask him what flavors he'd like. He responds in baby talk that I don't quite understand, but it's a great conversation nonetheless, because it's great mommy and Matty time. In fact, we had a lot of mommy and Matty time this weekend, and it was THE BEST!
On Friday, Matt and I went to an impromptu play date. I shopped for make up and Matty played with other toddlers at the party. He isn't really into playing with other kids yet, so he basically kept to himself and played with a wooden toy duck, but he enjoyed himself and when he got tired, he reached up and nuzzled my hair until it was time to go.
On Saturday, I took a mommy time out for a couple of hours to go shopping and meet baby Emerson - one of my best friend's new baby boy. He's gorgeous and such a tiny little peanut. I tried to remember Matthew being that small and, to be honest, it's a little fuzzy. I mean I remember him being a newborn, but at the same time I don't. It is the strangest thing, because this has been the quickest and longest year of my life. One study says that it's normal for moms to "forget" the newborn stage, because if we remembered it all we may not have more babies. But I didn't mind the newborn stage, so why don't I remember it very clearly? It's a conundrum.
Later Saturday night, Matt and I watched cartoons, played chase and laughed in hysterics at each other. I, of course, captured much of it with my iPhone... sorry for clogging up your Facebook and Istagram feeds, but I couldn't help myself. He is just too darn cute.
He is growing up so fast. I just wish time would stand still for just a little while, so that I can enjoy my baby a little longer before he turns one and is a pre-toddler.
Monday, August 18, 2014
And he's off and running!
I came home one day from work last week to see my 10.5 month old walk to me. He's been cruising for a good month using just his finger to support himself as he moves along various household furniture to get where he wants to go, and then one day he just took off. He's still unsteady and has a record of about 10 steps in a row before falling, but I am so proud of my little dude, and let me tell you, he's proud of himself, too. That grin of his goes from ear to ear and he's just so happy and pleased with himself when he walks to where he wants to go... usually into mommy's arms.
He's also a little chatter box nowadays. What does he say? I have no idea, but he thinks the stories he's telling me are just the funniest in the world. If I were narrating his gibberish it probably sounds something like this... "You'll never guess what I did to Marley today. When she least expected it, I snuck up behind her and yanked out a fistful of hair, and then she gave me lots of kisses. Isn't that so funny mommy?" Or something like, "You'll never guess what I did to daddy. When he was changing me, I scooted out from underneath him and peed all over the floor. I am hilarious!" And finally, "I am going to wake you up at least four times tonight mommy. Just be prepared, because I know that the only way you'll come into my room is if I stand up and yell Ma over and over again. I am onto your games and I will win."
He's also a little chatter box nowadays. What does he say? I have no idea, but he thinks the stories he's telling me are just the funniest in the world. If I were narrating his gibberish it probably sounds something like this... "You'll never guess what I did to Marley today. When she least expected it, I snuck up behind her and yanked out a fistful of hair, and then she gave me lots of kisses. Isn't that so funny mommy?" Or something like, "You'll never guess what I did to daddy. When he was changing me, I scooted out from underneath him and peed all over the floor. I am hilarious!" And finally, "I am going to wake you up at least four times tonight mommy. Just be prepared, because I know that the only way you'll come into my room is if I stand up and yell Ma over and over again. I am onto your games and I will win."
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
Summer time!
I cannot believe how quickly this summer has been flying by. Daddy Day Care has been going pretty well most days, but then there are mornings like today. As I was about to head out the door to go to work Matthew clung to my leg like static-cling and yelled and cried - wailed actually. It broke my heart. I'm just thankful he can't talk yet, because if he started yelling "don't go mommy," I don't think I would have made it today.
People say that leaving your child to go to work gets easier, and some days that is true, but then there are days like today and I sit here wondering what life would be like as a stay at home mom. I dream about it actually. I am envious of those who can feed their children every meal of the day, those that can take their children to the park or the zoo any day of the week. Those that can discipline their children when they do something they aren't supposed to do, and pick them up and kiss their boo boos when they fall. Yes, I do that when I get home at 6 p.m. until the time Matthew goes to bed and then wakes up at 2 or 3 a.m. and rock him until he falls asleep. But I feel like I still miss so much.
I am so thankful that Eric gets to stay home with him for weeks and months at a time, and there are days I really regret my choice to go to school for communications instead of teaching. (side note: I would have been a horrible teacher, and I give so much credit to those educators that make a difference in the lives of so many children.) But to stay home during the summer, to take family vacations without checking in at the office, and to get a little extra time with Matthew - ugh a girl can dream!
Now, this post is going to spur comments about how I should quit my job and be a stay at home mom, but it's not that simple my friends. Financially, we just can not do it, and let's face it, if I did stay at home, I'm sure I'd find a way to complain about never having a minute to myself, having to do all the cooking, cleaning and parenting - oh wait, I already complain about that! Life is life no matter which way you lead it. For now, I'll just be envious of the extra time daddy gets with Matthew, and I'll savor the hours and weekends that I do have with my baby boy.
People say that leaving your child to go to work gets easier, and some days that is true, but then there are days like today and I sit here wondering what life would be like as a stay at home mom. I dream about it actually. I am envious of those who can feed their children every meal of the day, those that can take their children to the park or the zoo any day of the week. Those that can discipline their children when they do something they aren't supposed to do, and pick them up and kiss their boo boos when they fall. Yes, I do that when I get home at 6 p.m. until the time Matthew goes to bed and then wakes up at 2 or 3 a.m. and rock him until he falls asleep. But I feel like I still miss so much.
I am so thankful that Eric gets to stay home with him for weeks and months at a time, and there are days I really regret my choice to go to school for communications instead of teaching. (side note: I would have been a horrible teacher, and I give so much credit to those educators that make a difference in the lives of so many children.) But to stay home during the summer, to take family vacations without checking in at the office, and to get a little extra time with Matthew - ugh a girl can dream!
Now, this post is going to spur comments about how I should quit my job and be a stay at home mom, but it's not that simple my friends. Financially, we just can not do it, and let's face it, if I did stay at home, I'm sure I'd find a way to complain about never having a minute to myself, having to do all the cooking, cleaning and parenting - oh wait, I already complain about that! Life is life no matter which way you lead it. For now, I'll just be envious of the extra time daddy gets with Matthew, and I'll savor the hours and weekends that I do have with my baby boy.
Friday, July 25, 2014
10 months old... SOO BIG!
Yesterday, Matthew turned 10 months old. He's officially been on the outside longer than he was in the inside. It's crazy how quickly this time has gone, and yet, I can't seem to remember life before him.
I was discussing this phenomenon just the other day with my good friend, another new mom. We couldn't figure out how, before kids, we managed our time. Between work, family and friends and household chores, I felt like I was always pretty busy. But now? I can't seem to find a minute to myself, let alone get all the things I want to finished before the next day, spend quality time with family and friends, have quiet time with the husband and take care of the baby. I must have grown super human powers when I became a mom, because even though life has drastically changed, I wouldn't trade it in for my old life in a million years. I'd gladly take changing diapers, nightly baths, soothing baby to sleep at all hours of the night and kissing boo boos over nights out at bars, fancy dinners and shopping sprees.
At 10 months old, Matthew is a crawling pro and standing on his own unassisted for short periods of time. Some days, he even looks as though he's going to take off running, which I anticipate will happen any day now. He is a great eater and wants whatever mommy has on her plate - so long spicy food and added salt. He says mama and dada and I think he's finally starting to associate what those two words actually mean. Marley is his best friend. He feeds her cheerios every morning from his high chair and likes to play games with Marley's crate. He's a cuddle bug, and, although he's shy at first, he opens up pretty quickly in new surroundings.
I was discussing this phenomenon just the other day with my good friend, another new mom. We couldn't figure out how, before kids, we managed our time. Between work, family and friends and household chores, I felt like I was always pretty busy. But now? I can't seem to find a minute to myself, let alone get all the things I want to finished before the next day, spend quality time with family and friends, have quiet time with the husband and take care of the baby. I must have grown super human powers when I became a mom, because even though life has drastically changed, I wouldn't trade it in for my old life in a million years. I'd gladly take changing diapers, nightly baths, soothing baby to sleep at all hours of the night and kissing boo boos over nights out at bars, fancy dinners and shopping sprees.
At 10 months old, Matthew is a crawling pro and standing on his own unassisted for short periods of time. Some days, he even looks as though he's going to take off running, which I anticipate will happen any day now. He is a great eater and wants whatever mommy has on her plate - so long spicy food and added salt. He says mama and dada and I think he's finally starting to associate what those two words actually mean. Marley is his best friend. He feeds her cheerios every morning from his high chair and likes to play games with Marley's crate. He's a cuddle bug, and, although he's shy at first, he opens up pretty quickly in new surroundings.
Thursday, July 17, 2014
When and if to have baby #2
When and if I am ready for baby # 2 has been a major topic of conversation among my mommy friends lately. Not just my online group, but my personal and coworker friends as well. I guess when you're gearing up for the first birthday, it becomes pretty commonplace to start hearing, "so when is baby number 2 coming along?"
For me, I am really enjoying my time with Matthew, so unless a miracle oops occurs, sorry folks, I am in no rush to become pregnant again. Do I want more kids? Of course. But right now? Not so much. I was really sick my whole pregnancy with Matthew, and although I know that symptoms can vary from pregnancy to pregnancy, I can't imagine chasing my almost 10 month old around, and at the same time trying anything and everything to prevent myself from puking my guts out every other hour. I am sure it's doable, but call me crazy, it doesn't sound all that appealing to me.
It feels like just yesterday that I was trying everything I could to get pregnant though and it seems selfish and hypocritical to now, just two years later, hear the words come out of my mouth that I am in no rush to try for another one. Maybe it's because I remember so vividly the disappointment, heartache and emotional toll that TTC took on me. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat for Matthew, but at this moment in time, I am in no rush to get back to that dark place before pregnancy. I hope my struggles with infertility are a thing of the past, but if they are not, then I'll deal with it when the time comes. In the meantime, I am going to love my little guy to pieces and enjoy spending my one-on-one time with him, after all, he's the only child I'll be able to have one-on-one time with.
I have such sadness for my friends that are still awaiting their miracle babies. Everything we go through to get these precious babies are so worth it, but somedays, I look back and wonder how I got up and functioned every day? Some of my fellow infertiles are trying new treatments, others are moving onto adoption and some are just trying to grasp the concept of being childless or having an only child. I am thankful that I don't have to make that decision today or even tomorrow. But these are amazing women, who I admire so much. In fact, one of my friends started a new venture that will help parents of IVF children donate their extra embryos to other women in need. Her website is https://www.wombswaitingandwombswanted.com/home.html
There is a give away for five free profiles for embryo donor recipients. If you, or anyone you know, would be interested in it, send them to the website to enter the drawing.
For me, I am really enjoying my time with Matthew, so unless a miracle oops occurs, sorry folks, I am in no rush to become pregnant again. Do I want more kids? Of course. But right now? Not so much. I was really sick my whole pregnancy with Matthew, and although I know that symptoms can vary from pregnancy to pregnancy, I can't imagine chasing my almost 10 month old around, and at the same time trying anything and everything to prevent myself from puking my guts out every other hour. I am sure it's doable, but call me crazy, it doesn't sound all that appealing to me.
It feels like just yesterday that I was trying everything I could to get pregnant though and it seems selfish and hypocritical to now, just two years later, hear the words come out of my mouth that I am in no rush to try for another one. Maybe it's because I remember so vividly the disappointment, heartache and emotional toll that TTC took on me. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat for Matthew, but at this moment in time, I am in no rush to get back to that dark place before pregnancy. I hope my struggles with infertility are a thing of the past, but if they are not, then I'll deal with it when the time comes. In the meantime, I am going to love my little guy to pieces and enjoy spending my one-on-one time with him, after all, he's the only child I'll be able to have one-on-one time with.
I have such sadness for my friends that are still awaiting their miracle babies. Everything we go through to get these precious babies are so worth it, but somedays, I look back and wonder how I got up and functioned every day? Some of my fellow infertiles are trying new treatments, others are moving onto adoption and some are just trying to grasp the concept of being childless or having an only child. I am thankful that I don't have to make that decision today or even tomorrow. But these are amazing women, who I admire so much. In fact, one of my friends started a new venture that will help parents of IVF children donate their extra embryos to other women in need. Her website is https://www.wombswaitingandwombswanted.com/home.html
There is a give away for five free profiles for embryo donor recipients. If you, or anyone you know, would be interested in it, send them to the website to enter the drawing.
Monday, July 14, 2014
First Family Vacation
Eric, Matthew and I just returned home from a much-needed Florida vacation with my side of the family. We had a great time. It was relaxing and quiet. We spent our days at the beach or by the pool and we took turns putting the baby down for his nap and getting him out of the sun when the time came. Vacationing with a little one is much different than vacationing without children. It's not necessarily a worse time, it's just different and you have to plan things much differently.
Before Matthew, Eric and I would try to do as many excursions and try as many new restaurants and foods as we could when we went away, although I admit, I wish we had gone away on more vacations pre-parenthood as opposed to me being a frugal workaholic. Now, vacationing revolves around nap times, feedings and how long Matthew's been out in the sun.
Matthew did great on the airplane both to Florida and back home. He didn't fuss much and blessed mommy by falling asleep during take off and landing, so he didn't seem bothered by the change in air pressure. I on the other hand couldn't hear very well the first day there and the first day home. But enough about me, back to the baby.
He was mesmerized by the ocean and yelled back at the waves when they rolled in. He neither loved nor hated the sand, and he thoroughly enjoyed spending every day playing with his cousins. He didn't sleep well the entire vacation, and in turn, neither did mommy and daddy. Most nights, he ended up between us in the bed, and for being an 18-pound baby, he sure took up a lot of room.
Here is a snap shot of some of our time in the Sunshine State:
We shopped til we dropped on Monday... literally. When we went out for lunch Matthew took me by surprise and threw his head back and I almost dropped him, although he did fall back onto the table, causing a scene. He wasn't hurt, but screamed loud enough for the entire restaurant to turn and stare at the commotion. I was mortified and it showed on my face, which ensued more tears from my nine month old.
The next day, we laid by the pool and at night Eric and I met up with my college friend who is now living in Miami for cocktails at this trendy bar on the beach. When we got back we celebrated my brother in law's birthday. Tuesday was a great day.
Wednesday morning we went back to the beach and then took a trip to Boca Raton and shopped with the rich. We spent a good chunk of time in Janey and Jack and bought Matthew the most adorable pants I think I've ever seen. I am pretty sure I could have spent hours in that store, but luckily for my bank account, my husband pulled me back to reality. Our shopping trip was then cut short by a very scary thunder and lightning storm. We then went out to dinner as a whole family and enjoyed delicious food with eachother and my parents' childhood friends. Another great day!
Thursday, Eric's last day there, we went on a boat ride where we saw these gorgeous mansions. We decided that in that area of Florida, you are either really wealthy, very poor or old. There isn't much in between. At least that was the perception I got.
Friday morning my dad and I dropped Eric off at the airport so he could get back in time for our friends' wedding, and I laid by the pool until the family went to Margate for dinner at our family friends' house. They live on a canal that connects to the Everglades and I searched for any signs of alligators to no avail. For those that know me personally, you know that I am fascinated by critters. I don't necessary want to touch or hold them, but I love to see them and observe them in the wild, in their environment - snakes and reptiles are my favorite. Call me weird, but they fascinate me.
Saturday was filled with packing and cleaning and then getting to the airport on time. Matthew flirted with a few girls in the airport while we waited to board the flight and then fell asleep during take off again. When he woke up he fussed a little bit, but not enough to really bother the other passengers. All in all, we had a great time, and I wish we didn't have to come back to reality so soon. Although I do love my own bed and Matthew feels the same way. He's slept straight through the past two nights in a row and has taken several long naps since we've been back home.
Before Matthew, Eric and I would try to do as many excursions and try as many new restaurants and foods as we could when we went away, although I admit, I wish we had gone away on more vacations pre-parenthood as opposed to me being a frugal workaholic. Now, vacationing revolves around nap times, feedings and how long Matthew's been out in the sun.
Matthew did great on the airplane both to Florida and back home. He didn't fuss much and blessed mommy by falling asleep during take off and landing, so he didn't seem bothered by the change in air pressure. I on the other hand couldn't hear very well the first day there and the first day home. But enough about me, back to the baby.
He was mesmerized by the ocean and yelled back at the waves when they rolled in. He neither loved nor hated the sand, and he thoroughly enjoyed spending every day playing with his cousins. He didn't sleep well the entire vacation, and in turn, neither did mommy and daddy. Most nights, he ended up between us in the bed, and for being an 18-pound baby, he sure took up a lot of room.
Here is a snap shot of some of our time in the Sunshine State:
We shopped til we dropped on Monday... literally. When we went out for lunch Matthew took me by surprise and threw his head back and I almost dropped him, although he did fall back onto the table, causing a scene. He wasn't hurt, but screamed loud enough for the entire restaurant to turn and stare at the commotion. I was mortified and it showed on my face, which ensued more tears from my nine month old.
The next day, we laid by the pool and at night Eric and I met up with my college friend who is now living in Miami for cocktails at this trendy bar on the beach. When we got back we celebrated my brother in law's birthday. Tuesday was a great day.
Wednesday morning we went back to the beach and then took a trip to Boca Raton and shopped with the rich. We spent a good chunk of time in Janey and Jack and bought Matthew the most adorable pants I think I've ever seen. I am pretty sure I could have spent hours in that store, but luckily for my bank account, my husband pulled me back to reality. Our shopping trip was then cut short by a very scary thunder and lightning storm. We then went out to dinner as a whole family and enjoyed delicious food with eachother and my parents' childhood friends. Another great day!
Thursday, Eric's last day there, we went on a boat ride where we saw these gorgeous mansions. We decided that in that area of Florida, you are either really wealthy, very poor or old. There isn't much in between. At least that was the perception I got.
Friday morning my dad and I dropped Eric off at the airport so he could get back in time for our friends' wedding, and I laid by the pool until the family went to Margate for dinner at our family friends' house. They live on a canal that connects to the Everglades and I searched for any signs of alligators to no avail. For those that know me personally, you know that I am fascinated by critters. I don't necessary want to touch or hold them, but I love to see them and observe them in the wild, in their environment - snakes and reptiles are my favorite. Call me weird, but they fascinate me.
Saturday was filled with packing and cleaning and then getting to the airport on time. Matthew flirted with a few girls in the airport while we waited to board the flight and then fell asleep during take off again. When he woke up he fussed a little bit, but not enough to really bother the other passengers. All in all, we had a great time, and I wish we didn't have to come back to reality so soon. Although I do love my own bed and Matthew feels the same way. He's slept straight through the past two nights in a row and has taken several long naps since we've been back home.
Monday, June 30, 2014
Hitting milestones
Matthew amazes me every day, and lately he has been hitting milestones that we haven't even been working on. For example, I walked downstairs this morning and Matthew was playing with a toy on the floor. Out of the blue, he started clapping to himself, because he was proud that he had made the toy do what it was supposed to do. I rarely ever clap for him, I say yay Matty or pat him on the back, but clapping just hasn't been something that I do on a regular basis, and yet, he suddenly knows how to do it? Amazing!
He has also been getting pretty ballsy and will get himself to a standing position and just let go. Nine times out of 10 he falls on his rear end, but sometimes he can let go, stand by himself for a few seconds and then grab a hold of the table or the pack n play again without losing his balance. When he accomplishes this, he starts cheering for himself. His hoots and hollers are just too cute for words.
And finally, he started doing "so big." I'll go how big is Matty, and he'll throw his arms in the air to show me just how big he is. Again, we hadn't been working on this for any significant length of time, but he picked it up nonetheless. These may seem like silly or small feats to you, but to a first time mom, seeing my child accomplish these milestones is just such a blessing. I could literally watch him laugh and play all day long and just smile from ear to ear.
I am so proud of my little guy. Tomorrow is daddy's first time taking Matthew to the doctor's by himself, I can't wait to hear how it goes and how big Matty Matt really is getting.
He has also been getting pretty ballsy and will get himself to a standing position and just let go. Nine times out of 10 he falls on his rear end, but sometimes he can let go, stand by himself for a few seconds and then grab a hold of the table or the pack n play again without losing his balance. When he accomplishes this, he starts cheering for himself. His hoots and hollers are just too cute for words.
And finally, he started doing "so big." I'll go how big is Matty, and he'll throw his arms in the air to show me just how big he is. Again, we hadn't been working on this for any significant length of time, but he picked it up nonetheless. These may seem like silly or small feats to you, but to a first time mom, seeing my child accomplish these milestones is just such a blessing. I could literally watch him laugh and play all day long and just smile from ear to ear.
I am so proud of my little guy. Tomorrow is daddy's first time taking Matthew to the doctor's by himself, I can't wait to hear how it goes and how big Matty Matt really is getting.
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
nine months on the outside
It's crazy to think that Matthew is already nine months old - the same amount of time it took to bake him. When I was nine months pregnant, all I wished for was to go into labor, so that I could finally meet him. What I didn't know was just how much my life would change once he became a full part of it.
When I was on light bed rest the last week leading up to his birth, I'd talk to him and sing to him all day long while I was surfing the net, adding songs to his baby playlist and watching hours upon hours of television. (There wasn't a whole lot I could do, because of my high blood pressure, so sitting my large butt on the couch was pretty much all I did during that time period.) Even then, I'd play this game with him where I would press lightly on one part of my stomach and he'd kick me on the opposite side. Then, I'd press lightly on the side he had just kicked and he'd punch me on the other side. We had already established this undeniable bond even though we hadn't officially met face to face at that point. Heck at nine months pregnant, I didn't even know he was a boy yet.
Today, Matty and I still have a strong bond, and I could still sit my butt on the couch for hours and sing and talk to him if life allowed me to do that. Although, nowadays, getting him to sit still for more than 5 minutes is a challenge. This kid wants to go, go, go. He's crawling and getting into EVERYTHING, and now that he can pull himself up to a standing position, it's only a matter of time until he takes off walking. As it is, my little daredevil tries to let go, unsuccessfully, countless times a day.
He's growing up so fast. I just wish time would slow down just a bit.
When I was on light bed rest the last week leading up to his birth, I'd talk to him and sing to him all day long while I was surfing the net, adding songs to his baby playlist and watching hours upon hours of television. (There wasn't a whole lot I could do, because of my high blood pressure, so sitting my large butt on the couch was pretty much all I did during that time period.) Even then, I'd play this game with him where I would press lightly on one part of my stomach and he'd kick me on the opposite side. Then, I'd press lightly on the side he had just kicked and he'd punch me on the other side. We had already established this undeniable bond even though we hadn't officially met face to face at that point. Heck at nine months pregnant, I didn't even know he was a boy yet.
Today, Matty and I still have a strong bond, and I could still sit my butt on the couch for hours and sing and talk to him if life allowed me to do that. Although, nowadays, getting him to sit still for more than 5 minutes is a challenge. This kid wants to go, go, go. He's crawling and getting into EVERYTHING, and now that he can pull himself up to a standing position, it's only a matter of time until he takes off walking. As it is, my little daredevil tries to let go, unsuccessfully, countless times a day.
He's growing up so fast. I just wish time would slow down just a bit.
Tuesday, June 17, 2014
Mr. Personality
Matthew seems to have grown at laser light speed intellectually over the past few weeks. Since the start of June, he started feeding himself food, crawling with his belly off the floor, standing for a few seconds by himself and focusing more intently on objects. It's been incredible to watch him explore new things and become more aware of his surroundings.
Since June 1, he's also been extra clingy to mommy and began expressing his discontent through the form of screaming, kicking, and throwing himself into a backward arch position if I tell him no or try to put him down or give him to daddy so that I can get a few house chores done. This has been an eye opening experience, because how do you handle a not-quite nine month old who's getting a mind of his own? It's a little too early for time outs, but it's very trying at times when I can't seem to take 5 minutes to clean up the inch of dust that has been accumulating around the house. My allergies are telling me it's time to put the baby down and do my chores!
If you read my blog regularly, you may notice that I have a slight, irrational fear of the unknown, and my latest flash of anxiety is that I am parenting wrong. I love that my Matthew is a mama's boy, and I am thrilled that I am his favorite person, because quite frankly, he's my favorite person... (sorry Eric, Matthew edges you out ever so slightly) However, what if my actions now affect him long term? For example, if Matthew doesn't want to play on the floor and would rather be carried around, I pick him up and finish the vacuuming with him attached to my hip - literally. There's a small part of me that worries this behavior will only get worse as he grows older into his toddler years and then everyone will be talking behind my back, or to my face, about how my two year old runs the roost.
My thought process now is that he is only this age for so long, and I want him to know that no matter what I will always be there for him. But on the other hand, I want him to grow up to be independent with a mind of his own, but with love and respect for others.
I guess, for now, I am going to continue to plug along and do what I feel is best. These phases are short lived and it won't be long before he decides he's too cool for mommy, so I am just soaking up the love and adoration... hopefully it lasts into his adult years.
Since June 1, he's also been extra clingy to mommy and began expressing his discontent through the form of screaming, kicking, and throwing himself into a backward arch position if I tell him no or try to put him down or give him to daddy so that I can get a few house chores done. This has been an eye opening experience, because how do you handle a not-quite nine month old who's getting a mind of his own? It's a little too early for time outs, but it's very trying at times when I can't seem to take 5 minutes to clean up the inch of dust that has been accumulating around the house. My allergies are telling me it's time to put the baby down and do my chores!
If you read my blog regularly, you may notice that I have a slight, irrational fear of the unknown, and my latest flash of anxiety is that I am parenting wrong. I love that my Matthew is a mama's boy, and I am thrilled that I am his favorite person, because quite frankly, he's my favorite person... (sorry Eric, Matthew edges you out ever so slightly) However, what if my actions now affect him long term? For example, if Matthew doesn't want to play on the floor and would rather be carried around, I pick him up and finish the vacuuming with him attached to my hip - literally. There's a small part of me that worries this behavior will only get worse as he grows older into his toddler years and then everyone will be talking behind my back, or to my face, about how my two year old runs the roost.
My thought process now is that he is only this age for so long, and I want him to know that no matter what I will always be there for him. But on the other hand, I want him to grow up to be independent with a mind of his own, but with love and respect for others.
I guess, for now, I am going to continue to plug along and do what I feel is best. These phases are short lived and it won't be long before he decides he's too cool for mommy, so I am just soaking up the love and adoration... hopefully it lasts into his adult years.
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Everybody's puking, everybody's pooping!!
Yesterday morning, I felt a little sluggish, so I decided that instead of bringing my Labradoodle Marley's crate in from the trunk of my car, I'd block off the back room and let her roam free while we were at work. My bags, that I also did not feel like putting away, were "securely" placed in an area that I thought the dog wouldn't be able to get into nor would she be able to open the bag.
I should never underestimate the smarts of a poodle and the determination of a Labrador. That troublemaker not only got into my overnight bag, she took out all of my jewelry - thankfully didn't eat any of my valuables - ingested a Benadryl and licked clean my new container of skin cream. I knew I didn't need to call the vet, because the skin cream was all organic and made from natural ingredients, but I also knew that the result of her boredom and my stupidity would not leave me unpunished.
At about 6 p.m., Marley started puking, and shortly after that she had the runs. At roughly the same time, Matthew decided that he was going to poop up his back, get it into his hair, and then roll around so that it would seep through his clothes, onto the floor and all over mommy's white t-shirt. I put Eric on dog duty, and brought Matthew straight upstairs and into the bathtub.
When he decided he was done with the bath, he reached up and climbed into my arms soaking wet. I'm so glad I had just minutes before changed my shirt. He still needed his hair washed, so instead of making him upset by putting him back into the tub to finish up, I thought it'd be a brilliant idea to wash his hair in the sink. It would have worked out perfectly, except I forgot to move a glass from the counter and Matthew promptly picked it up and threw it on the floor, shattering it into teeny tiny little pieces. I then moved my foot a fraction of a centimeter and stepped on the tiniest piece I could find so it embedded into my big toe and disappeared. It's only remnants was the stabbing pain that shot through my foot with each step I took.
The remainder of the night consisted of a whiny 8 month old, a sick dog and a very cranky mommy. I'd like to thank my husband who cleaned up the glass and the rugs, and then put the baby to bed so that mommy could get some much-needed peace and quiet.
I should never underestimate the smarts of a poodle and the determination of a Labrador. That troublemaker not only got into my overnight bag, she took out all of my jewelry - thankfully didn't eat any of my valuables - ingested a Benadryl and licked clean my new container of skin cream. I knew I didn't need to call the vet, because the skin cream was all organic and made from natural ingredients, but I also knew that the result of her boredom and my stupidity would not leave me unpunished.
At about 6 p.m., Marley started puking, and shortly after that she had the runs. At roughly the same time, Matthew decided that he was going to poop up his back, get it into his hair, and then roll around so that it would seep through his clothes, onto the floor and all over mommy's white t-shirt. I put Eric on dog duty, and brought Matthew straight upstairs and into the bathtub.
When he decided he was done with the bath, he reached up and climbed into my arms soaking wet. I'm so glad I had just minutes before changed my shirt. He still needed his hair washed, so instead of making him upset by putting him back into the tub to finish up, I thought it'd be a brilliant idea to wash his hair in the sink. It would have worked out perfectly, except I forgot to move a glass from the counter and Matthew promptly picked it up and threw it on the floor, shattering it into teeny tiny little pieces. I then moved my foot a fraction of a centimeter and stepped on the tiniest piece I could find so it embedded into my big toe and disappeared. It's only remnants was the stabbing pain that shot through my foot with each step I took.
The remainder of the night consisted of a whiny 8 month old, a sick dog and a very cranky mommy. I'd like to thank my husband who cleaned up the glass and the rugs, and then put the baby to bed so that mommy could get some much-needed peace and quiet.
Monday, June 9, 2014
Overnight at Grandma's
I was in an out of town wedding this weekend, so I had to leave the baby overnight with "Amma" for the first time. I think the anticipation of leaving him was much worse than actually being away.
Don't get me wrong, I missed my baby so much, but at the same time, I knew he was in good hands. I was also reassured during the many checkins that Matthew was unaware I was even missing in action, because he was busy having fun with Amma, Aunt Chris and his cousins. He played hard and crashed harder, so he didn't even keep my mom up in the middle of the night. When I arrived at my mom's house he was completely at ease.
I actually don't think Matthew started to miss me until I was back home and he was in my arms. It was then that he realized I was there again, and he wanted to nuggle in tight to my chest and stay close to me for the remainder of the night. He even bit down hard on my finger to make sure I wasn't a dream. Apparently, no one told him that the expression is pinch me to show me I'm not dreaming. The expression is NOT bite mommy to see if I'm dreaming. Yep buddy, I'm back, here's the bite mark to prove it.
The wedding was such a good time though. It was great to see my college friends all together again after such a long time. We laughed and cried and laughed some more. I danced until my joints hurt, I laughed until my cheeks hurt and I drank like I was in college again... It's two days after the festivities and I am still hungover. It's amazing how 9 years ago, we could party hard Friday and Saturday nights and still function the next day. It's Monday, and I am still having a hard time functioning. Thirty is definitely NOT the new 20. Congratulations to my dear friends Kelly and Adam on their nuptials. They are an amazing couple, and I am so honored to have been a part of their special day!
Don't get me wrong, I missed my baby so much, but at the same time, I knew he was in good hands. I was also reassured during the many checkins that Matthew was unaware I was even missing in action, because he was busy having fun with Amma, Aunt Chris and his cousins. He played hard and crashed harder, so he didn't even keep my mom up in the middle of the night. When I arrived at my mom's house he was completely at ease.
I actually don't think Matthew started to miss me until I was back home and he was in my arms. It was then that he realized I was there again, and he wanted to nuggle in tight to my chest and stay close to me for the remainder of the night. He even bit down hard on my finger to make sure I wasn't a dream. Apparently, no one told him that the expression is pinch me to show me I'm not dreaming. The expression is NOT bite mommy to see if I'm dreaming. Yep buddy, I'm back, here's the bite mark to prove it.
The wedding was such a good time though. It was great to see my college friends all together again after such a long time. We laughed and cried and laughed some more. I danced until my joints hurt, I laughed until my cheeks hurt and I drank like I was in college again... It's two days after the festivities and I am still hungover. It's amazing how 9 years ago, we could party hard Friday and Saturday nights and still function the next day. It's Monday, and I am still having a hard time functioning. Thirty is definitely NOT the new 20. Congratulations to my dear friends Kelly and Adam on their nuptials. They are an amazing couple, and I am so honored to have been a part of their special day!
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Why won't he sleep through the night?
These last few weeks have been especially trying in our household. Matt's been working on his fifth tooth and he let's everyone know about it. Poor Marley, my crazy Labradoodle, is even feeling the exhaustion.
Two nights ago, Matt woke up at 1 a.m. and the last time I checked the clock it was 4 a.m., so really, who knows how long we were up in the middle of the night. I tried everything, walking, rocking, feeding and resulted to testing out the cry it out method. Let me tell you, I hate the cry it out method. It literally makes me panicky. As he cries harder, my ears get hotter, my blood starts rushing and I can't help it, I have to go and pick him up. Some tough mommies may call me weak, but I can't help it. I also hear them telling me that he's manipulating me. You know what, I know he is, but as a first time mom I can't stop myself from running to him and soothing him. My baby needs to know that I am there for him when he needs me.
Turn page to last night, Matt again woke up at 1 a.m. and I walked him, fed him, changed him, rocked him, laid on the couch with him where eventually he went off to dreamland or so I thought. Repeat steps 1 - 5.
My hair is starting to look ragged. My eyes have bags under them. And my bones are starting to ache with exhaustion. People said parenting gets easier with time. Time is passing. It's getting harder.
But at the end of the day, would I change any of it? Not a chance!
Friday, May 30, 2014
When to call the doctor?
When your child can not communicate in a way other than saying mama, dada, hiya and crying, it's really hard to know what's actually going on with him. Is he in pain? Is he tired? Does he just feel like making Mommy go nuts - most likely, but you never know!
Recently, Matt's been teething hard core. His top two teeth just popped through last weekend and he's working on a fifth tooth on the bottom, so needless-to-say the nights have been pretty rough in our household. Last Saturday, he started tugging at his left ear and he has a little bit of the sniffles, but it's been nothing like the typical colds we have seen, so I attributed it to teething. Monday he slept pretty well, Tuesday was awful, Wednesday was pretty good and then last night he woke up screaming. He was pretty inconsolable for about an hour, and because of it, I am pretty sure that my recently colored hair is now peppered with grays again.
Although I was pretty confident his odd behavior had to do with his teeth coming in, I decided to call the doctor hotline this morning to see if I should be worried. To my amazement, the doctor on the other end made me feel horrible that I hadn't come in sooner. He claimed that the runny nose and the tugging at the ear are not in conjunction with the soon-to-be toothy grin my son will be donning.
I admit, I've been a little gun shy when it comes to calling the doctor since the first pediatrician made me feel like the boy who cried wolf, and I did not want to make the same mistakes twice. So it got me thinking... What's a first time mom to do? Err on the side of caution or wait another week to see if it goes away? This morning I decided that it's better to be safe than sorry since I am my child's advocate, but you have to maintain credibility at the same time. It's really a fine line that makes parenting an infant pretty tough some days.
I am happy to report that Matt's actual pediatrician made me feel much better and his ear pulling and runny nose really do have to do with his teeth coming in. Score 1 point for mommy being right. In the meantime, a little Motrin at night will help with the pain, and I'll continue to let my mommy instincts dictate when it's right to call the doctor with concern and when it is nothing.
Recently, Matt's been teething hard core. His top two teeth just popped through last weekend and he's working on a fifth tooth on the bottom, so needless-to-say the nights have been pretty rough in our household. Last Saturday, he started tugging at his left ear and he has a little bit of the sniffles, but it's been nothing like the typical colds we have seen, so I attributed it to teething. Monday he slept pretty well, Tuesday was awful, Wednesday was pretty good and then last night he woke up screaming. He was pretty inconsolable for about an hour, and because of it, I am pretty sure that my recently colored hair is now peppered with grays again.
Although I was pretty confident his odd behavior had to do with his teeth coming in, I decided to call the doctor hotline this morning to see if I should be worried. To my amazement, the doctor on the other end made me feel horrible that I hadn't come in sooner. He claimed that the runny nose and the tugging at the ear are not in conjunction with the soon-to-be toothy grin my son will be donning.
I admit, I've been a little gun shy when it comes to calling the doctor since the first pediatrician made me feel like the boy who cried wolf, and I did not want to make the same mistakes twice. So it got me thinking... What's a first time mom to do? Err on the side of caution or wait another week to see if it goes away? This morning I decided that it's better to be safe than sorry since I am my child's advocate, but you have to maintain credibility at the same time. It's really a fine line that makes parenting an infant pretty tough some days.
I am happy to report that Matt's actual pediatrician made me feel much better and his ear pulling and runny nose really do have to do with his teeth coming in. Score 1 point for mommy being right. In the meantime, a little Motrin at night will help with the pain, and I'll continue to let my mommy instincts dictate when it's right to call the doctor with concern and when it is nothing.
Monday, May 19, 2014
Matthew's first haircut
Everyone tells you how quickly time goes when you have a baby, but you don't appreciate it until you are living it. In the beginning, I couldn't wait until Matthew started cooing and laughing, and it wasn't too long before he started to smile at me and get a little personality. Then, time went on and I couldn't wait for him to roll over, again, it wasn't too long before he started rolling all over the place and then army crawling to his destinations. Now, I want to go back to a time when he would lay contently in my arms for hours on end.
On Saturday, Matthew woke up with his unruly long hair in his eyes, and I knew it was time to bite the bullet and get him a haircut. So on a whim, Eric and I got dressed and ready to go and off we went to Great Clips right around the corner from our house. Not sure how Matthew would react, I sat him in my lap, and much to my surprise, he was perfect. He smiled and flirted with the stylist and he even closed his eyes in contentment while she combed and clipped his hair. He seemed to really enjoy being pampered. She then saved a few clippings, put them in an envelope and sent us on our way.
Another first has come and gone, and in many ways it makes me nostalgic for his newborn days when I was nursing round the clock and completing my daily chores in a zombiesque manner. I can't believe how quickly time has passed. Time felt as if it stood still while we were trying to get pregnant and even during my pregnancy, but now it's as if I blink and another day has come and gone. On Saturday, Matthew will turn 8 months old! It doesn't seem possible.
He still has just two teeth, but it looks as though four more are trying to make their way to the surface. He's army crawling all over the place. He adores Marley, and most of the time, Marley adores Matthew. He is saying Mama - his first word, and Dada, which he said minutes after his first hair cut. He loves to play in his walker and chase Marley around. They play the cutest game, too. Matt will go one way and Marley will go the other and then meet in the kitchen. They play this game over and over, and it is music to my ears to hear that little guy laugh and giggle. Also, he is so proud of himself when he walks around the room holding just your fingers for support. He is growing bigger and stronger every day, and it just melts my heart to see him play with his doggie, and on Thursdays with his cousins. It's amazing that these budding friendships are already beginning to form.
On Saturday, Matthew woke up with his unruly long hair in his eyes, and I knew it was time to bite the bullet and get him a haircut. So on a whim, Eric and I got dressed and ready to go and off we went to Great Clips right around the corner from our house. Not sure how Matthew would react, I sat him in my lap, and much to my surprise, he was perfect. He smiled and flirted with the stylist and he even closed his eyes in contentment while she combed and clipped his hair. He seemed to really enjoy being pampered. She then saved a few clippings, put them in an envelope and sent us on our way.
Another first has come and gone, and in many ways it makes me nostalgic for his newborn days when I was nursing round the clock and completing my daily chores in a zombiesque manner. I can't believe how quickly time has passed. Time felt as if it stood still while we were trying to get pregnant and even during my pregnancy, but now it's as if I blink and another day has come and gone. On Saturday, Matthew will turn 8 months old! It doesn't seem possible.
He still has just two teeth, but it looks as though four more are trying to make their way to the surface. He's army crawling all over the place. He adores Marley, and most of the time, Marley adores Matthew. He is saying Mama - his first word, and Dada, which he said minutes after his first hair cut. He loves to play in his walker and chase Marley around. They play the cutest game, too. Matt will go one way and Marley will go the other and then meet in the kitchen. They play this game over and over, and it is music to my ears to hear that little guy laugh and giggle. Also, he is so proud of himself when he walks around the room holding just your fingers for support. He is growing bigger and stronger every day, and it just melts my heart to see him play with his doggie, and on Thursdays with his cousins. It's amazing that these budding friendships are already beginning to form.
Friday, April 25, 2014
Infertility Awareness Week
As I sit here looking at my now 7 month old baby boy, watching him play and laugh, I think back to a time not too long ago when I was desperate to be a mother.
I remember sitting at my grandfather's funeral, which will be 3 years ago this upcoming week, and thinking I am ready to be a mother. I am ready to stop putting myself first and I am ready, willing and able to focus on bringing a new life into this world. I couldn't wait to be a parent to a tiny human being with a main goal of raising him or her to be a good and happy person who will hopefully be a lot like the man that we were burying that day.
I thought it'd be easy; that we would do what we were supposed to do, and I'd get pregnant. It seemed easy enough, but then a few months went by and nothing happened. So I did a little research and started temping to time ovulation. A few more months went by and still nothing. Maybe we were doing it wrong? We'll try a little longer. After a full year of disappointment, I went to my doctor. She referred me to a reproductive endocrinologist, who ran blood work and other tests and determined that I needed a little help from a fertility drug called Femara.
So, in April 2012, I started a drug protocol that would allow me to time ovulation perfectly and then the doctor would help us with fertilization. I was excited, because this was the ticket I needed to get my baby. I was wrong... again.
However, it was also around that time that I sought support from the Baby Center Community, which is an online blogging site for women who are either pregnant, trying to conceive or already mothers. I found a group of women - My Warriors - who have been a huge support for me. Over the last two and a half years, we have laughed, cried, celebrated and cheered each other on through this rollercoaster of a process.
They were there for me when I had a chemical pregnancy in August of 2012, when I needed to start "shooting up" with Bravelle - a different, more potent fertility drug, and then they were there for me through a Laparoscopy surgery that went horribly wrong. It was to be an outpatient procedure that landed me 3 days in a hospital bed and two weeks hooked up to a catheter. Maybe TTC wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. Maybe I wasn't meant to be a mother. I was devastated.
After the surgery from hell, I decided I needed a break. I couldn't go back to the RE until I had healed not only my body, but my mind and my soul. I convinced the people in my every day life that I wasn't so focused on TTC any more - after all, "I just needed to relax." That is so much easier said than done my friends. If you haven't walked a mile in a woman trying to conceives' shoes, please don't tell her to relax and that it will happen. It's not always that easy. You physically and mentally can not relax when you are visiting the doctor every other day for the first half of your cycle. TTC is always on our mind. Even during my break, it was there. And on the second month of that break, I was shocked and elated to find out that my prayers had finally been answered.
On January 11, 2013, I got a positive pregnancy test. I called my RE the next morning and got an emergency blood test to confirm that I was indeed pregnant and that it wasn't another chemical pregnancy. Another two days after that, my beta levels were rising as they should and I breathed a tiny sigh of relief. Then at 5 weeks, 3 days, I saw this beautiful little sac that would grow to be my beautiful baby boy. Another week after that, we saw his little heart beat. Each milestone in my pregnancy was a triumphant victory. I was finally going to be a mom, and on September 24, 2013 we welcomed Matthew into our home and our lives and all of the heartache and troubles I had went away. I stare at this baby boy and my heart wants to explode. With each breathe I take I love him a little bit more.
For the women still trying to conceive, I pray that your time will come when the heart ache and pain of TTC goes away and just seems like a distant memory.
For those who know someone struggling with infertility, there is nothing you can say to make them feel better. Just be there for them and listen to them vent. Don't take their disappointment when a friend announces her pregnancy personally. It's not that an infertile isn't happy for the other person, it's that she is longing for that take home baby herself.
This is infertility awareness week. For my warriors still trying BELIEVE!
I remember sitting at my grandfather's funeral, which will be 3 years ago this upcoming week, and thinking I am ready to be a mother. I am ready to stop putting myself first and I am ready, willing and able to focus on bringing a new life into this world. I couldn't wait to be a parent to a tiny human being with a main goal of raising him or her to be a good and happy person who will hopefully be a lot like the man that we were burying that day.
I thought it'd be easy; that we would do what we were supposed to do, and I'd get pregnant. It seemed easy enough, but then a few months went by and nothing happened. So I did a little research and started temping to time ovulation. A few more months went by and still nothing. Maybe we were doing it wrong? We'll try a little longer. After a full year of disappointment, I went to my doctor. She referred me to a reproductive endocrinologist, who ran blood work and other tests and determined that I needed a little help from a fertility drug called Femara.
So, in April 2012, I started a drug protocol that would allow me to time ovulation perfectly and then the doctor would help us with fertilization. I was excited, because this was the ticket I needed to get my baby. I was wrong... again.
However, it was also around that time that I sought support from the Baby Center Community, which is an online blogging site for women who are either pregnant, trying to conceive or already mothers. I found a group of women - My Warriors - who have been a huge support for me. Over the last two and a half years, we have laughed, cried, celebrated and cheered each other on through this rollercoaster of a process.
They were there for me when I had a chemical pregnancy in August of 2012, when I needed to start "shooting up" with Bravelle - a different, more potent fertility drug, and then they were there for me through a Laparoscopy surgery that went horribly wrong. It was to be an outpatient procedure that landed me 3 days in a hospital bed and two weeks hooked up to a catheter. Maybe TTC wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. Maybe I wasn't meant to be a mother. I was devastated.
After the surgery from hell, I decided I needed a break. I couldn't go back to the RE until I had healed not only my body, but my mind and my soul. I convinced the people in my every day life that I wasn't so focused on TTC any more - after all, "I just needed to relax." That is so much easier said than done my friends. If you haven't walked a mile in a woman trying to conceives' shoes, please don't tell her to relax and that it will happen. It's not always that easy. You physically and mentally can not relax when you are visiting the doctor every other day for the first half of your cycle. TTC is always on our mind. Even during my break, it was there. And on the second month of that break, I was shocked and elated to find out that my prayers had finally been answered.
On January 11, 2013, I got a positive pregnancy test. I called my RE the next morning and got an emergency blood test to confirm that I was indeed pregnant and that it wasn't another chemical pregnancy. Another two days after that, my beta levels were rising as they should and I breathed a tiny sigh of relief. Then at 5 weeks, 3 days, I saw this beautiful little sac that would grow to be my beautiful baby boy. Another week after that, we saw his little heart beat. Each milestone in my pregnancy was a triumphant victory. I was finally going to be a mom, and on September 24, 2013 we welcomed Matthew into our home and our lives and all of the heartache and troubles I had went away. I stare at this baby boy and my heart wants to explode. With each breathe I take I love him a little bit more.
For the women still trying to conceive, I pray that your time will come when the heart ache and pain of TTC goes away and just seems like a distant memory.
For those who know someone struggling with infertility, there is nothing you can say to make them feel better. Just be there for them and listen to them vent. Don't take their disappointment when a friend announces her pregnancy personally. It's not that an infertile isn't happy for the other person, it's that she is longing for that take home baby herself.
This is infertility awareness week. For my warriors still trying BELIEVE!
Monday, March 24, 2014
Six months already!
Today, my Matty Luke turns 6 months old. Where has the time gone? It feels like yesterday that Eric and I were anxiously awaiting his arrival, and it feels like yesterday that we could hardly sleep, counting down the minutes until we could call the hospital at 5 a.m. to see what time we could come in and start the pitocin. (I had to be induced because of pre-eclamsia symptoms).
Matthew was born on his due date, Sept. 24, 2013, at 3:22 p.m. The laboring process is kind of a blur, but I do remember going from mild contractions to holy crap I'm gonna die contractions in about 20 minutes. I remember setting a deadline of 3:30 p.m. to push him out. I even bet the nurse and midwife that I could do it. I do admit that at 8 a.m. I said I would have him by 2 p.m., but we adjusted it to 3:30 after a complication that made us have to slow things down a little - we needed Matty's heart rate to regulate and mommy to stop having blurred vision. We made it though, and when Eric told me that he was a boy, I couldn't believe that I had a son. I'll admit my first thought was "Yes, I was right again" since I said boy from the minute we found out we were pregnant, and Eric thought for sure he was a girl. But, in that moment, I couldn't imagine the love I would have for this little boy. It's overwhelming at times.
Matthew came into this world pretty calm. He cried for a few seconds but calmed right down when the doctor laid him on my chest. Six months on the outside and he's still a pretty calm baby who relaxes as soon as he gets into my arms. We truly do have a bond that I hope never gets broken. I hope as he grows, he always knows, and never doubts, that I love him with every ounce of my being, and that I will always be there to support him.
At birth, Matthew was 7 lbs 10 oz and 19 3/4 inches long. Today, at six months old, he's roughly 16 lbs and 26 inches long. He has two teeth and is working on a third - all on the bottom. He's a rolling machine, is attempting to scoot/crawl, and walks/runs when you put him on the floor and hold him up by your fingers. He babbles, but isn't saying any words yet. He's pensive and looks as though he's taking everything in, observing what everyone else around him is doing.
Matthew loves Marley and thinks she is the funniest thing in the world. He laughs at her when she barks and runs around the house like a mad puppy. When Marley comes and lays next to him the first thing he goes for is her eyebrows and/or beard. Marley just lets him.
He loves to be sung to and jump in his exersaucer, and he is starting to reach out to people when he wants to be picked up, and although he isn't the best eater when it comes to solid foods, he does love green beans.
He's growing up too quickly, but at the same time, it feels as if he's always been a part of my world. Matthew Lucas I love you forever and always.
Matthew was born on his due date, Sept. 24, 2013, at 3:22 p.m. The laboring process is kind of a blur, but I do remember going from mild contractions to holy crap I'm gonna die contractions in about 20 minutes. I remember setting a deadline of 3:30 p.m. to push him out. I even bet the nurse and midwife that I could do it. I do admit that at 8 a.m. I said I would have him by 2 p.m., but we adjusted it to 3:30 after a complication that made us have to slow things down a little - we needed Matty's heart rate to regulate and mommy to stop having blurred vision. We made it though, and when Eric told me that he was a boy, I couldn't believe that I had a son. I'll admit my first thought was "Yes, I was right again" since I said boy from the minute we found out we were pregnant, and Eric thought for sure he was a girl. But, in that moment, I couldn't imagine the love I would have for this little boy. It's overwhelming at times.
Matthew came into this world pretty calm. He cried for a few seconds but calmed right down when the doctor laid him on my chest. Six months on the outside and he's still a pretty calm baby who relaxes as soon as he gets into my arms. We truly do have a bond that I hope never gets broken. I hope as he grows, he always knows, and never doubts, that I love him with every ounce of my being, and that I will always be there to support him.
At birth, Matthew was 7 lbs 10 oz and 19 3/4 inches long. Today, at six months old, he's roughly 16 lbs and 26 inches long. He has two teeth and is working on a third - all on the bottom. He's a rolling machine, is attempting to scoot/crawl, and walks/runs when you put him on the floor and hold him up by your fingers. He babbles, but isn't saying any words yet. He's pensive and looks as though he's taking everything in, observing what everyone else around him is doing.
Matthew loves Marley and thinks she is the funniest thing in the world. He laughs at her when she barks and runs around the house like a mad puppy. When Marley comes and lays next to him the first thing he goes for is her eyebrows and/or beard. Marley just lets him.
He loves to be sung to and jump in his exersaucer, and he is starting to reach out to people when he wants to be picked up, and although he isn't the best eater when it comes to solid foods, he does love green beans.
He's growing up too quickly, but at the same time, it feels as if he's always been a part of my world. Matthew Lucas I love you forever and always.
Thursday, March 20, 2014
poopsplosion!
I don't typically post about my son's bowel movements because a. it's gross and b. who cares, but this is too funny not to share. Matthew for months has been a once-a-dayer, going only for daddy between the hours of 4:30 and 6 p.m. - after he's picked up from the sitter and before I get home from work. Don't tell Eric, but Matthew and I have been scheming on this for months. He is my bestie after all, and we get a kick out of making daddy change dirty diapers.
Matthew has since started eating more solids, and on Tuesday, I was mortified to find out that Matthew "went" big time during the morning commute, which resulted in an emergency bath, change of clothes and an impromptu laundry session at the sitter's house. The "poopslosion" as I like to call it is a rarity for my little guy. At least that's what I thought.
Last night, Matthew's eczema was bothering him, and he was itching and getting frustrated, so I decided to give him a bath a little earlier in the day than usual. He's sitting up, so I let him play in the water for a few extra minutes, too. After a while, I got him out, applied lotion to his skin and got him dressed in a brand new onsie and sleeper. After that, we went downstairs and I put him in his exersaucer for some play time so I could do the dishes. It wasn't more than 5 minutes until I heard Eric call for me. Houston, we have a problem. Enter poopsplosion # 2.
That new onsie and sleeper were officially "well worn" and it was back to the tub we go. Matthew looked confused at first because we had just finished tubby time, but he soon relished in the fact that he had another chance to splash in the water and play with his rubber ducky. He laughed and laughed, and I couldn't help but laugh a little, too. We finished bath number 2, put on another onsie and sleeper and were settled in for the night. Fingers crossed he doesn't make a habit out of this double bath time routine.
Matthew has since started eating more solids, and on Tuesday, I was mortified to find out that Matthew "went" big time during the morning commute, which resulted in an emergency bath, change of clothes and an impromptu laundry session at the sitter's house. The "poopslosion" as I like to call it is a rarity for my little guy. At least that's what I thought.
Last night, Matthew's eczema was bothering him, and he was itching and getting frustrated, so I decided to give him a bath a little earlier in the day than usual. He's sitting up, so I let him play in the water for a few extra minutes, too. After a while, I got him out, applied lotion to his skin and got him dressed in a brand new onsie and sleeper. After that, we went downstairs and I put him in his exersaucer for some play time so I could do the dishes. It wasn't more than 5 minutes until I heard Eric call for me. Houston, we have a problem. Enter poopsplosion # 2.
That new onsie and sleeper were officially "well worn" and it was back to the tub we go. Matthew looked confused at first because we had just finished tubby time, but he soon relished in the fact that he had another chance to splash in the water and play with his rubber ducky. He laughed and laughed, and I couldn't help but laugh a little, too. We finished bath number 2, put on another onsie and sleeper and were settled in for the night. Fingers crossed he doesn't make a habit out of this double bath time routine.
Friday, March 14, 2014
Touched by Blue4Ben
There is a family that doesn't live too far from me that is going through the unthinkable - one of their 4 year old boys, Ben, has in incurable cancer.
Ben's mom has blogged about fer family's experience and her unwavering faith in God. Ben was a happy, healthy 4 year old just a few months ago, and now, he's been given weeks to live. The Western New York community has rallied behind this family. Businesses, landmarks, and other moms and children have gone "Blue 4 Ben," and have been wearing blue in support of this courageous little boy. His mother explained that she often dresses Ben in blue so others can tell the difference between her identical twins. From what she describes, Ben is full of life with a kind heart and a lot to give to the world. It makes you stop and question why God would do this to this poor family. What could His big plan be, and why would He need to take this little boy away from his parents, his twin brother and his younger sister?
My heart breaks for this mother and her family. She explains their lives now and how it has so dramatically changed and yet, they are trying to keep things normal for all of the little ones. I often wonder how this mother has the strength to live her every day life knowing her child's days are limited unless God grants her a miracle. I pray that He does. I pray that through the power of prayer this little boy makes it. That she will see both of her sons graduate kindergarten, high school, college and then go on to get married and have children of their own.
After reading her blog posts, I find myself holding on to my son a little tighter. I find myself crying for this family and praying that they get through this.
Ben's mom has blogged about fer family's experience and her unwavering faith in God. Ben was a happy, healthy 4 year old just a few months ago, and now, he's been given weeks to live. The Western New York community has rallied behind this family. Businesses, landmarks, and other moms and children have gone "Blue 4 Ben," and have been wearing blue in support of this courageous little boy. His mother explained that she often dresses Ben in blue so others can tell the difference between her identical twins. From what she describes, Ben is full of life with a kind heart and a lot to give to the world. It makes you stop and question why God would do this to this poor family. What could His big plan be, and why would He need to take this little boy away from his parents, his twin brother and his younger sister?
My heart breaks for this mother and her family. She explains their lives now and how it has so dramatically changed and yet, they are trying to keep things normal for all of the little ones. I often wonder how this mother has the strength to live her every day life knowing her child's days are limited unless God grants her a miracle. I pray that He does. I pray that through the power of prayer this little boy makes it. That she will see both of her sons graduate kindergarten, high school, college and then go on to get married and have children of their own.
After reading her blog posts, I find myself holding on to my son a little tighter. I find myself crying for this family and praying that they get through this.
Friday, February 21, 2014
Allergies?
There is nothing scarier than having your son look up to you and have his face is covered in hives. That was my experience last Saturday afternoon after I had eaten some candy with peanuts in it. Matthew has had eczema since he was a few weeks old, but this was different. This was an allergic reaction to something, and quite possibly it was something I ate.
As a nursing mother, I know that I need to drink a lot of water, make sure I eat balanced meals and to limit the amount of junk food that I will ultimately be passing on to my almost 5 month old son. It never occurred to me that he could develop a food allergy. I've had peanut m&ms and even a handful of nuts here and there, but never while nursing and never close to nursing time.
We don't know for sure yet if it is a peanut allergy, so I could be worrying over nothing. But, nevertheless, we go in Monday for blood work to find out. Seeing your child in pain is one of the worst feelings in the world, and I hate to put him through unnecessary testing if it was just a one-time reaction, but a peanut allergy isn't something to mess with. And I'd rather know sooner than later if he does have a food allergy, so we can take the proper steps to ensure that he stays away from anything that has peanuts in them and that the allergy doesn't get worse.
If you read this, please say a little prayer that Matthew doesn't have food allergies. I'll update again after the test results come back.
UPDATE:
Matthew had blood work and it ruled out food allergies, but his eczema is now worse than ever. He looks as though his poor little face has been burned because it's so red and raw. I took Matthew to Immediate Care the other day, because his original pediatrician wouldn't call me back in a timely manner.
It turns out the cream I was told to use was in fact drying out his skin even more. We switched regiments and are now using Aveeno baby eczema and it is helping. I also switched pediatricians, because of the lack of care my child was receiving. I had called a number of times about his rash and the severity of it, but nothing was being done to resolve it. Going to a new doctor, I now feel that my concerns are being addressed and Matthew is much happier now that his face isn't as affected by the eczema. He still has bad flare ups, but we're treating them as they come.
As a nursing mother, I know that I need to drink a lot of water, make sure I eat balanced meals and to limit the amount of junk food that I will ultimately be passing on to my almost 5 month old son. It never occurred to me that he could develop a food allergy. I've had peanut m&ms and even a handful of nuts here and there, but never while nursing and never close to nursing time.
We don't know for sure yet if it is a peanut allergy, so I could be worrying over nothing. But, nevertheless, we go in Monday for blood work to find out. Seeing your child in pain is one of the worst feelings in the world, and I hate to put him through unnecessary testing if it was just a one-time reaction, but a peanut allergy isn't something to mess with. And I'd rather know sooner than later if he does have a food allergy, so we can take the proper steps to ensure that he stays away from anything that has peanuts in them and that the allergy doesn't get worse.
If you read this, please say a little prayer that Matthew doesn't have food allergies. I'll update again after the test results come back.
UPDATE:
Matthew had blood work and it ruled out food allergies, but his eczema is now worse than ever. He looks as though his poor little face has been burned because it's so red and raw. I took Matthew to Immediate Care the other day, because his original pediatrician wouldn't call me back in a timely manner.
It turns out the cream I was told to use was in fact drying out his skin even more. We switched regiments and are now using Aveeno baby eczema and it is helping. I also switched pediatricians, because of the lack of care my child was receiving. I had called a number of times about his rash and the severity of it, but nothing was being done to resolve it. Going to a new doctor, I now feel that my concerns are being addressed and Matthew is much happier now that his face isn't as affected by the eczema. He still has bad flare ups, but we're treating them as they come.
Thursday, January 30, 2014
I love you forever
Night time with Matty is one of my favorite times of the day. We go up to his room, sit in the rocking chair, I nurse him and then we read at least one book before bed time. Last night I chose Love You Forever by Robert Munsch.
When I first got the book I tried to read it to Matthew when he was just days old and couldn't get through it with out sobbing. As touching as the book is, I am not usually the sappy type so I chalked it up to hormones. Now that he is 4 months old, I thought I'd give it another whirl. Unfortunately, I quickly realized that either my postpartum hormones are still in full effect or it's just a really good book that makes me cry when I read it, because by the last page the tears were freely flowing from my eyes and down my cheeks.
The words in the book are just so true. No matter what Matthew does that makes me angry or annoyed as he grows, I will love him forever, I will like him for always, As long as I'm living, My baby he'll be.
I sat there and really let the words sink in. I would do anything for him, and I hope he never doubts that. My main objective in life now is to love him and teach him the tools he needs to be, first and foremost, a good person. When he's little I'll savor the time that he's a mama's boy, but as he grows, my wish for him is to be independent and a hard worker, but also know that he can always count on his mommy to be there to guide him and love him.
As I sat there last night rocking my baby to sleep, I looked down at him with tears still flowing down my face, and he looked up at me and smiled and then reached up to touch my face. It was the most beautiful moment, and it's a memory that I'll cherish for all time. Matty Luke I will Love You Forever.
When I first got the book I tried to read it to Matthew when he was just days old and couldn't get through it with out sobbing. As touching as the book is, I am not usually the sappy type so I chalked it up to hormones. Now that he is 4 months old, I thought I'd give it another whirl. Unfortunately, I quickly realized that either my postpartum hormones are still in full effect or it's just a really good book that makes me cry when I read it, because by the last page the tears were freely flowing from my eyes and down my cheeks.
The words in the book are just so true. No matter what Matthew does that makes me angry or annoyed as he grows, I will love him forever, I will like him for always, As long as I'm living, My baby he'll be.
I sat there and really let the words sink in. I would do anything for him, and I hope he never doubts that. My main objective in life now is to love him and teach him the tools he needs to be, first and foremost, a good person. When he's little I'll savor the time that he's a mama's boy, but as he grows, my wish for him is to be independent and a hard worker, but also know that he can always count on his mommy to be there to guide him and love him.
As I sat there last night rocking my baby to sleep, I looked down at him with tears still flowing down my face, and he looked up at me and smiled and then reached up to touch my face. It was the most beautiful moment, and it's a memory that I'll cherish for all time. Matty Luke I will Love You Forever.
Friday, January 17, 2014
Mommyhood is amazing
Wow, it's been a really long time since I've written to my blog. No, I am not still pregnant!
Matthew Lucas was born on September 24, 2013 at 3:22 p.m. weighing 7 lbs 10 oz and 19 3/4 inches long. He is absolutely amazing and the best thing that has ever happened to me. After nearly 2 years of trying to conceive Matthew, and possibly the worst pregnancy I could imagine, I can honestly say, every heart ache, every tear, every trip to the toilet bowl, was worth it.
I can't even remember what my life was like before he was in it. Before being a mom, I liked to do my own thing and have alone time where I could just decompress after work and on the weekends. Now, I can't wait to get home so I can snuggle my baby, talk to and play with him and nurse him. Nursing is such an awesome experience. It's a bond that I can't really explain. It makes me feel so content to be able to provide for my baby in such a close and personal way.
He is just shy of four months, and I have learned what his different cries mean - there's one for hunger, dirty diapers, tiredness and then my favorite one... the "I miss mommy" one. I just have to go pick him up and it's like all is right in the world again. He's laughing and becoming more vocal every day and he's just such a happy and content little dude. The love I have for him makes my heart literally want to burst open.
When it's a particularly tough day at work or the hubs and I just aren't on the same page, I look at that little boy and none of that matters. As long as he's happy and cared for, that's truly all I need to be happy. I of course still care about my work, but my priorities did a complete 180 after Matt was born and instead of stressing about the every day struggles in life, I now see the bigger picture.The laundry and dishes can wait if my boy wants to be held just a little while longer. After all, he's only this small for so long and then he'll grow up and won't want to snuggle with me. So, I am going to savor it while it lasts.
Matthew Lucas was born on September 24, 2013 at 3:22 p.m. weighing 7 lbs 10 oz and 19 3/4 inches long. He is absolutely amazing and the best thing that has ever happened to me. After nearly 2 years of trying to conceive Matthew, and possibly the worst pregnancy I could imagine, I can honestly say, every heart ache, every tear, every trip to the toilet bowl, was worth it.
I can't even remember what my life was like before he was in it. Before being a mom, I liked to do my own thing and have alone time where I could just decompress after work and on the weekends. Now, I can't wait to get home so I can snuggle my baby, talk to and play with him and nurse him. Nursing is such an awesome experience. It's a bond that I can't really explain. It makes me feel so content to be able to provide for my baby in such a close and personal way.
He is just shy of four months, and I have learned what his different cries mean - there's one for hunger, dirty diapers, tiredness and then my favorite one... the "I miss mommy" one. I just have to go pick him up and it's like all is right in the world again. He's laughing and becoming more vocal every day and he's just such a happy and content little dude. The love I have for him makes my heart literally want to burst open.
When it's a particularly tough day at work or the hubs and I just aren't on the same page, I look at that little boy and none of that matters. As long as he's happy and cared for, that's truly all I need to be happy. I of course still care about my work, but my priorities did a complete 180 after Matt was born and instead of stressing about the every day struggles in life, I now see the bigger picture.The laundry and dishes can wait if my boy wants to be held just a little while longer. After all, he's only this small for so long and then he'll grow up and won't want to snuggle with me. So, I am going to savor it while it lasts.
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