Why won't he sleep through the night?

When Matthew was first born, he was a great sleeper. We actually thought something was wrong with him, because he slept so well. I had to wake him to feed him and change him, and sometimes he even slept through that. Then, at about 4 months old, he flipped the tables. I can count on two fingers the number of times he's slept through the night since the 4 month mark, and let me tell you, Mama is tired!

These last few weeks have been especially trying in our household. Matt's been working on his fifth tooth and he let's everyone know about it. Poor Marley, my crazy Labradoodle, is even feeling the exhaustion.

Two nights ago, Matt woke up at 1 a.m. and the last time I checked the clock it was 4 a.m., so really, who knows how long we were up in the middle of the night. I tried everything, walking, rocking, feeding and resulted to testing out the cry it out method. Let me tell you, I hate the cry it out method. It literally makes me panicky. As he cries harder, my ears get hotter, my blood starts rushing and I can't help it, I have to go and pick him up. Some tough mommies may call me weak, but I can't help it. I also hear them telling me that he's manipulating me. You know what, I know he is, but as a first time mom I can't stop myself from running to him and soothing him.  My baby needs to know that I am there for him when he needs me.

Turn page to last night, Matt again woke up at 1 a.m. and I walked him, fed him, changed him, rocked him, laid on the couch with him where eventually he went off to dreamland or so I thought. Repeat steps 1 - 5.

My hair is starting to look ragged. My eyes have bags under them. And my bones are starting to ache with exhaustion. People said parenting gets easier with time. Time is passing. It's getting harder.

But at the end of the day, would I change any of it? Not a chance!