Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Last month = 978,000 days

It's true what they say. Pregnancy lasts 9 months, except month 9 is the longest month of your life!!!

I am 37 weeks, 5 days along, but I feel like my gestational period has lasted years... I don't know how elephants do it. Don't misunderstand, I want the baby to bake as long as possible, but my body is giving up. My sciatica is at an all time high, making it difficult to walk some days. The contractions start, then always stall out. I can't stop peeing. And even though I have not gained nearly as much weight as I did during my first pregnancy, I feel like I am as big as a house because the baby weight is all in the front. My waddle has a waddle.

At last week's doctor's appointment, I had made a lot of progress. I was 3 cm dilated, 50 % effaced and baby's head was low. I admit, I got really excited, which I should always know leads to disappointment... Somehow, the baby decided the light was too bright and crawled back up the freaking birth canal. I went from 3 cm last week to a "loose" 2 this week - whatever the F that means and only 40 % effaced. I looked at the doctor and said, "you've got to be kidding me? How did I lose progress?" As always, he made perfect sense. My regularity of contractions has slowed significantly this past week, so my body has responded. I know that dilation and effacement really have nothing to do with when labor will kick into high gear. In fact, with Matthew, I was 3 to 4 cm dilated the entire last month of pregnancy, but it was comforting to know that when it was go time, I only had 6 more cm to go to reach push time. Who wants to run the 100 yard dash at 0? Oh I know, those women who claim to "love being pregnant." They are also probably the same women who "love to run 100 yard dashes." 

I hate those women. It makes those of us who are miserable look like terrible, ungrateful mothers, which is so far from the truth. I am so grateful that God has blessed me with another little one on the way and I am even more grateful that He didn't make me wait two years of actively trying to get pregnant to see those two beautiful lines back on December 23. But, I want to see the finish line more clearly. I want to know that for sure, in less than 2 weeks,  the newest Szpylman will make a debut. After today's visit, I am thinking Baby Spills 2.0 will be making a late appearance.  I need to drown my sorrows in chocolate.... I think I'll go grab the carton of ice cream.